Loyal readers,
it's been 349 days,
11 hours, 23 minutes, and seven seconds
since I said "yes"
to the love of my life, Richard Bevan Charlton,
King of Aldovia.
But who's counting?
Other than me and millions of people around the world.
Needless to say, it's been a whirlwind year.
There's been a lot of back and forth between New York and Aldovia.
The long-distance engagement hasn't always been easy,
but it's always been interesting.
Let's welcome Amber Moore,
the future Queen of Aldovia.
There she is. It's Amber Moore!
Amber! Amber! Can I have your autograph?
- I love you so much. - I've never met a queen.
Somehow through all this insanity,
I'm still me.
Even though I'm about to become queen of a small country.
Thank you for all your love and support this past year.
Sharing my writing with all of you means more than you'll ever know.
I promise to keep you posted on all my adventures to come,
especially our wedding
on Christmas day in Aldovia.
- What's with the sunglasses? - I don't want to get recognized.
Yeah, I don't need a disguise.
I feel like a brand new person.
Must be this fresh mountain air in Aldovenia.
- Pop, it's Aldovia! - Yeah, Aldovenia has more snap.
As Queen, can you change it?
I'm not sure how open they are to change.
Amber?
I'm damn stuck again, okay? The samples were not good.
Hey, you trying to steal our cab?
Trying?
No, darling, Sahil has the cab.
Okay, bye.
- If my daughter wasn't with me, I... - Pop?
Huh?
We don't need a cab after all.
Looks like they sent the royal limos.
There she is!
Oh, so much for my plan to slip in quietly.
- Look, it's the Queen-to-be! - It is her!
- Come, let's hurry before... - Any comment on the King's initiative?
- Will it affect the wedding? - Amber, look this way, please.
I am very happy to be back in Aldovia,
and excited for the wedding and Christmas,
and living the dream.
Miss, sir, welcome to Aldovia. Now, if you mind, quickly to the car.
- Thank you. - Amber, Amber, one more question!
What are you thinking about the wedding?
The palace insisted that I greet you,
and as you are now a member of the royal family,
protocol must be observed.
My name is Mr. Louis Zabala,
and I am your personal attache.
And may I say, Miss, it will be an honor to serve you.
And you, Mr. Moore.
Amber!
All right.
Amber, please, look back!
- Amber, one more! - Amber, one more picture, please.
Well, beats the Cross Bronx Expressway.
I'll say.
I can't get over the fact this is gonna be my home.
That makes two of us.
- Hey, Louie. - Sir?
All this stuff free?
Of course, sir. Please, do help yourself.
When you shipped all your stuff over, that was one thing,
- but now... - Pop.
I'm gonna come visit New York all the time,
and you can come here whenever you want.
Imagine your mom could see her little princess.
A queen.
She'd flip.
She would definitely flip.
You gotta be kidding me.
Not bad, huh?
Amber!
Emily! So good to see you again!
I have so much to tell you.
First, I received high marks across the board.
- Shocker! - Best of all,
my school's Christmas pageant is coming up.
I've been cast as the lead role!
That's so cool.
Oh. Mrs. Averill, Mr. Little.
- Ms. Moore. - Welcome home.
Is this her?
Princess Emily?
- Pleased to meet... - I heard a lot about you, kiddo.
The Princess shall not be addressed as "kiddo."
I am gonna bet that you are the famous Mrs. Averill.
Rudy Moore, put her there.
He looks different in person.
- I thought he had a goatee. - He shaved it for the wedding.
Oy-way. Good grip.
Well, shall we?
Mr. Moore, have you ever been inside a palace?
I went to Caesar's Palace once.
Now, I know, what happens in Vegas is supposed to stay in Vegas,
but let me tell you, there was this one time...
Pop, Pop, we can tell that story later. Come on.
No. Too bright.
Too... too tropical.
No.
Too whimsical.
It has to be...
regal.
New, but traditional.
Youthful, but classic.
Rhododendron is a nice flower.
- Amber. - It's so lovely to see you.
We're having a welcome reception tonight in your honor.
And you must be...
Rudy Moore, great to finally meet you!
Ooh!
We're gonna be family.
It's a brave new world.
Hey, before you know it,
we'll be sharing grandparent duties, me and you.
Mr. Moore, Mr. Moore,
you must be exhausted by your journey, as we are by your arrival.
Let's give you a chance to freshen up, shall we?
See you at the reception, Mr. Moore.
We're gonna burn the house down, kiddo.
He doesn't mean that literally.
One would hope not.
Where's Richard?
Oh, I-I thought he'd be here.
He's been terribly busy of late.
The King's duties never cease.
Mr. Zabala, would you take Amber upstairs, please?
Until the wedding, you're going to have your own bridal suite.
Suite?
Your suite.
Sweet!
"To my love, with all my heart.
From this day forth, we shall not be apart.
Poetry can be a challenging art.
If not yet mastered, here's a start."
It's a limerick. Of sorts.
Hey!
Sorry I wasn't there to greet you.
I had to finish decorating.
Well, your decorating is amazing!
I can't believe this is actually happening. It's real!
Oh, it's very real. "From this day forth, we shall not be apart."
Your poetry... not so amazing.
Excuse me, Your Majesty. An urgent call from the Minister for Economic Affairs
and the Prime Minister.
They insist.
I have to take this. We'll have our time this evening at the reception.
My lords, ladies, and gentlemen!
King Richard
and the guest of honor, our future Queen,
Ms. Amber Moore.
Can I invite you to a meeting? Can I?
Richard?
Uh, I'll find you.
Hi! How are you?
...with that, bring back control.
Ms. Amber Moore.
- Hi. - And Ambassador Wang and Mrs. Wang.
And President Adina, Ms. Amber Moore.
Hello, so lovely to meet you all.
I should go save poor Richard.
Best, I think, to leave him be.
And you and I have a wedding to plan.
I remember mine as if it was yesterday.
And I want your day to be just as special.
I want it to be perfect.
And to that end, I have hired the world's best wedding planner.
Wedding designer, Your Majesty.
Sahil designs,
he does not plan.
And designing a wedding for this captivating creature...
This...
Venus...
This Helen of Troy...
This...
This shall be Sahil's greatest achievement.
Aww.
Sahil Mattu.
Sahil is honored to create for you
the wedding of the century.
- Fantastic. Well, I had a few ideas... - Mm-hmm.
- ...that I thought we could talk about... - Oh, the Baroness of Frankfurt.
Yoo-hoo!
Sahil designed her wedding last year.
Mmm, Sahil designed all six of her weddings.
- Sahil was a child prodigy... - Excuse me, pal. Don't I know you?
Looking good, Peanut.
You may know of Sahil,
but I assure you, you do not know Sahil.
Ignore this interloper.
- That's my... - You...
are my canvas now, and Sahil the artist.
Sahil will not rest until we attain perfection.
Perfection?
Now, Sahil must go and prepare.
Until tomorrow, Your Highnesses.
Okay, thank you.
Okay, bye.
Wait a second.
- That's the bum who stole our cab. - Oh, no, Pop, please don't... Oh.
Hey, you! You cab-stealing phony!
- Get back here! - Mr. Moore.
May I bother you with a question?
Call me Rudy, kiddo. We're family.
What do you wanna know?
I was curious, how does our palace compare to that of Mr. Caesar?
Better in every area but one.
Amber and I call it "meat jelly."
Yuck.
I'd love to have a talk with the palace chef.
Maybe give him a few tips, chef-to-chef, you know.
I'm sure Chef Krasnov would love to hear your culinary ideas.
I'll see what I can arrange.
Amber, Mrs. Averill has been promoted
to head of Palace Office of Press and Protocol.
And in that capacity
has requested a quick word before the press photographs.
Of course.
It's clear that you've had a very laissez-faire attitude
concerning your image over the past year.
Magazines, television, blogs.
Blogs, that's what I do for a living.
- I'm a professional... - Oh, no.
But now that you're part of the royal family,
we must be careful of the image that you project.
Consider me your protector.
The goal is to see you and the crown in the best possible light.
Well, nothing shines quite like the truth, right?
I'm glad we see eye-to-eye.
Please wait here and I'll have the King and you pose for the photographs.
One minute, down there. Down there.
When I was a boy,
this is where I hid from Mrs. Averill to avoid my lessons.
You must have spent a lot of time out here.
Half my childhood.
So, how are you bearing up?
Life in a fishbowl takes getting used to.
Mmm. Try being King.
You've been groomed for this your whole life.
You still find it hard, how am I gonna handle it?
You're gonna do a brilliant job.
I know it.
Perhaps you can start by choosing the perfect Christmas tree
for the palace courtyard.
My dad used to drive my mom and I out to a farm each Christmas to find our tree.
He told me how much it meant to you.
Can we do that tomorrow?
Uh, not tomorrow. Perhaps the day after. Tomorrow the King must give a speech.
Oh, what kind of speech?
Well, you know my initiative, "Bring Aldovia into the 21st Century."
Strengthening infrastructure, schools, tech.
- It's smart. - That's what I thought.
But instead of strengthening the economy, the country is bleeding money.
Nobody can tell me why.
Is there anything I can do to help?
Something tells me that wedding preparations
are going to keep you occupied.
Rise and shine, my sleepy beauty.
We have much preparation to do and very little time.
Thanks.
Welcome...
to Sahil's masterpiece.
The Bavarian orchestra will start precisely at your entrance
with the release of the Barbary doves.
South African wildflowers...
will adorn your path down the aisle.
I mean, you won't, and I mean it...
you won't be able to take a step
without a Namaqualand daisy between the floor and your Jimmy Choo-Choos.
Choo-Choos?
Your footwear, very important.
Hmm.
There will be a roast pig
from each of Aldovia's seven provinces.
Montrachet Grand Cru will be in every goblet.
Nineteen-ninety-two. Hmm?
But of greatest importance...
is the star
around which all the wonder circulates.
And that, of course, is...
the gown!
Wow, that... that's... that's extravagant.
Yes! An extravaganza of style and taste.
A bravura of haute couture!
You are...
welcome.
Uh, Sahil,
I must... Thank you.
This dress is very eye-catching,
but I was actually looking for something a little more... simple.
Simple?
You know, just...
more me.
When you envision
yourself in this gown, hmm,
think not of who you are, unh-unh,
but who you shall be.
And, um...
you should bear in mind that this design was inspired
by Queen Helena's own wedding gown.
Right, right, which... which I'm sure was just...
beautiful and very much of the time,
but I'm looking for something more contemporary.
The Kingdom of Aldovia has over 700 years
of history and tradition.
An established set of protocols exist to guide every decision.
Which I respect, but times are ch...
These protocols have protected the royal family
since long before you set foot in our kingdom.
I didn't realize that becoming part of the royal family
meant having to give up who I am.
May we continue?
It's not even my wedding anymore.
This protocol is driving me crazy. It's like Bridezilla in reverse.
Forgive me if I don't ooze sympathy
from the night security desk of Noodle Chalet's corporate office.
Hey, at least you've got a job.
I've been living with my parents for the last three months
since Now Beat shut down.
Now Beat? It was Beat Now.
Whatever. It's gone now.
But enough about our problems.
You're having some royal pains?
Right, perspective.
I still need a shoulder to cry on.
Have you talked to Richard about any of this?
I haven't even seen him today. They know how to keep the King busy.
Just hurry up and get here already.
Counting down the seconds, trust.
That sounds amazing.
Don't stop on account of me.
That was on account of Mr. Zabala.
He's a tad rusty.
And if you practiced between lessons, you might get to play this on your own.
You still haven't let me tell you about my Christmas pageant.
I need help finishing my costume.
I'm in.
Oh, if protocol allows.
I'll make sure that I schedule a conference
between you and Princess Emily.
And I've cleared it for you to join King Richard.
Behind me stands an enduring symbol of Aldovia's historical strength.
Before me, and all of us,
lies our current revitalization project,
a symbol of Aldovia's shining future.
For crops to flourish, rain must fall.
Likewise, today's temporary hardships
will soon spur on a bountiful future for all.
What about our jobs?
The country's going broke!
Shame on the King!
A new Aldovian chapter
is about to begin.
And I'm honored and excited
to share that journey with each and every one of you.
I wish you all a very Merry Christmas
and a prosperous New Year.
This isn't right for Aldovia!
We're going broke!
Talk, talk, talk, we've heard it before!
Thank you.
I feel like a total fraud reading out that propaganda.
Your ideas make perfect sense,
I just don't understand why they're not working.
Neither do I.
When numbers don't add up, there's usually a reason.
What? Who do you think balanced Dad's books at the diner?
Amber, this isn't a diner, it's a kingdom.
And I'm gonna be Queen, I wanna contribute.
You're gonna make an excellent queen, but we mustn't let politics come between us.
We should be doing everything we can to help the kingdom, right?
Absolutely.
Maybe there should be a revitalization effort
to bring the royal family into the 21st century.
- Amber, I think it's hardly... - An excellent speech, Your Highness.
Now I need you to come meet the press with your most confident smiles.
I said simmer, not hellfire!
I need this ten minutes ago.
Excuse me, Miss.
Putrid! Start from scratch.
Yeah, I was told a chef was expecting me.
Who are you and what are you doing in my kitchen?
I expect no one except the father of the Queen-to-be.
Well, that's me. Rudy Moore.
Oh.
- Pleasure to meet you. - Pleasure is mine.
You know, I'm actually a chef myself. Yeah, I got my own place in New York City.
- Really? What's its name? - Rudy's Diner.
- Diner? - Yeah.
Yeah, I thought we could give the wedding guests a little taste of New York.
Excuse my posing, I'm in shock.
Oh, I get it. Too many cooks, huh?
No, this is your kitchen, I'm just here to help.
Dishes.
Excuse me?
You start with dishes.
The press office assures me your speech today will do a world of good.
Less than a year into my reign,
I feel like I'm running the kingdom into the ground.
Oh, you put much too much pressure on yourself.
- It's my initiative, Mother. - Richard...
your father first proposed the need for such a program.
Lord Leopold oversaw the implementation and the country backed it.
Economic fluctuation is a fact of life.
Yes, but I can't help but feel Father would be disappointed.
Oh, nonsense!
You mustn't let this put a strain on the season.
Or the wedding.
I hear the stress may be getting to Amber.
Can I not have a single conversation without it being observed and reported?
Darling,
I just... I just want you to be happy.
And to that end, I've asked Lord Leopold to come back.
But he seemed so keen to retire after launching the initiative.
Well, only because he found it too difficult to continue without Father.
But he's graciously agreed to come back from Monaco
to help us through these challenging times.
Mother...
Thank you.
Do you put the stockings on the tree
or you put them on your chimney?
Chimney.
I do feel I need to apologize.
- Really, I appreciate that, but... - I don't know what came over me.
The pressures I'm facing as King are no excuse
for my lack of enthusiasm earlier.
Can you forgive me?
I really would like to help.
There's actually some very good news on that front.
Lord Leopold, one of Father's most trusted advisors,
has agreed to return to give guidance.
Which is quite a relief.
And I know Father would have been pleased.
Whatever you two are discussing can wait.
I have an urgent matter vital to all of Aldovia to discuss.
And what might that be?
The people of Aldovia demand a magnificent royal Christmas tree to make them proud.
And so far we have none.
The palace courtyard is bare.
As King, I implore you to rectify the situation.
Here, here.
Well, that is precisely the kind of issue
where a king greatly benefits from the presence of his queen.
It shall be rectified tomorrow.
Your Majesties.
You have a guest.
Lord Leopold, already?
Send him in.
Simon.
Hello, all.
- Your Majesties. - It's all right, Mr. Zabala.
He appears to be in no shape to do us any further harm.
Queen Helena,
Merry Christmas.
What do you want, Simon?
I know I deserve to be met with such hostility.
Wait a minute.
- Is this the guy... - Who tried to steal Richard's crown? Yes.
I'm amazed to see your face here.
After the unfortunate...
incident last Christmas,
I lost almost everything I had to Sophia in the divorce.
Just desserts!
I don't expect you to forgive me.
But I wanted to say I'm sorry.
And Merry Christmas.
And congratulations.
To you both.
And, well...
Wait.
I don't know how you'll ever regain our trust.
But we're still cousins.
We're family.
And it's Christmas.
Ms. Moore, eyes on me.
Now, profile to the right.
Profile to the left.
It's perfect.
It's fabulous.
Stunning.
Regal.
Divine.
Not quite.
Hey.
We need to take out the derriere a touch, hmm.
- And take in the bust. - But first...
The veil.
Take a look.
Tell Sahil you adore it.
I can't see.
We are looking for you, darling. Hmm.
And believe us, you are to die for.
Wait until you see it flow.
- Take it down, Your Highness. - I...
I can't walk in these.
You don't have to walk, you have to glide. Hmm.
Glide.
Feel it...
inside.
Mmm.
That dress is something. Yes, Mr. Zabala?
I think the opinion of the bride-to-be
is much more important than ours.
Well, as I said about the sketch, I think it's a little elaborate.
Nothing is too elaborate for a queen.
It... it sets the image.
Not to mention the amount of work that went into this.
Furthermore, this gown was Queen Helena's sole request
before she hands over her son and her crown to you.
Very true.
One Coney Island bloodhound,
and a blonde with sand.
You're my hero.
So, you bonding with the chef yet? Where is he?
Eh, she.
Out shopping with the staff.
Oh, I needed a break.
Yeah, a lot of mutual, uh...
respect between us.
Eh, different styles.
There's a lot of things that are different here.
You feeling it, too?
I feel like it's my wedding, but it's not my wedding.
All this pomp and circumstance.
It's like, at this point, I'm almost dreading the big day.
It's your wedding.
Your special day. Nobody's gonna ruin it.
There somebody I need to straighten out?
No.
I just always thought that my wedding
would be about being with the person I love, with...
with all the people that I love there with me.
Christmas without Mom is always gonna be hard.
But getting married without her...
I guess we're both feeling that, huh?
Hey, I've got something for you. Um...
I planned on giving it to you on your wedding day, but...
I think you could use an angel on your shoulder.
She would be so proud of you.
So proud.
Oh.
And...
Voilà! What do you think?
Far better. It's perfect.
If I can't dress myself for my wedding, at least I can make you shine.
If you want me to place a mouse in the vicinity of Sahil,
please let me know.
Don't tempt me.
So what's this play about?
The story of Princess Froon,
a fair maiden who granted Santa Claus his magical powers.
The most famous Aldovian Christmas story. You haven't heard of it?
Not yet.
Come on, sit down.
Okay, so.
Princess Froon was coveted for her ability to grant magical powers.
One day she was captured by a big, hairy ogre named Grundle...
- Like Shrek! - Nothing like Shrek.
Grundel traps Princess Froon inside a castle made of ice.
Like Frozen?
Not at all.
Grundel was going to eat her for breakfast, when his pet turtle...
- Turtle? - Yes.
His turtle found a little baby in the woods.
And when he brings the baby to the castle,
she cares for it and nurses it back to health.
Her kindness melts the ogre's heart and he falls in love with her.
The end?
No. The ogre sets the princess free,
so then she turns the baby into Santa Claus.
And she kisses the ogre to say goodbye and thank you,
and he turns into a dashing knight in shining armor.
The end.
And it's all true?
Obviously.
How else do you think Santa got his magic? He couldn't have just been born with it.
Who's playing your knight in shining armor?
No one special.
Just a boy.
A boy, huh?
He's really shy.
His name's Tom Quill.
Sounds cute.
Don't be silly!
- Shut up! - I didn't say anything.
You're so totally blushing right now.
Time to find the most perfect tree on the mountain.
- Are you serious? - Didn't you fall off last time you rode?
Yes, but these horses are much better natured than your last.
- What about the wolves? - No wolves, I promise.
But you need to watch out for yetis.
If I wasn't more excited about this than anything in the world, I'd be worried.
But I am more excited about this than anything in the world.
So am I.
I've cleared both your schedules, so take as long as you like.
Find a good one.
We will.
King Richard!
I am most sorry, Your Majesty,
but you are needed in the chancellery at once.
Why on earth?
The unions are calling for a nationwide strike
in solidarity over unpaid wages on our work programs.
I need to deal with this, Amber. Can we choose a tree tomorrow?
I'm sorry.
Sorry, Amber.
But as you don't appear to be terribly busy this afternoon,
I have a final rehearsal. I could use your input.
Shall we?
We shall.
Why must you trap me here, Grundle?
Your fair beauty hurts my eyes.
But that is not why I trap you here.
I trap you here because I want your magic!
You cannot force me to use it.
I must believe in my heart!
Then I shall eat you.
And your magic shall seep into my flesh and stones!
I think it's "bones."
- That's what I said, isn't it? - Never mind.
Let's move on to scene 12.
Um...
Isn't that the one where we...
kiss?
Is it?
What's going on?
This can't be right.
What's going on?
Why did the lights go off? Why is everybody leaving?
The theater workers have gone on strike in solidarity.
Our performance is cancelled.
I'm so sorry.
Maybe they can get things together in time.
The performance was tomorrow.
You would have been a brilliant Princess Froon, Emily.
Not just because you're a real princess.
Uh...
I'm sorry we didn't get to do the play.
Anyway,
have a nice Christmas,
Your Highness.
You make a brilliant ogre, Tom.
Thanks?
And a brilliant knight in shining armor.
I'm so sorry, Emily.
No Christmas play, no Christmas tree.
There won't even be a Christmas at this rate.
Of course there's gonna be Christmas.
Richard is working really hard to make things better.
And I hear help is on the way.
Your Majesty.
Leopold!
Thank you so much for coming.
- It's good to be back in Aldovia. - And Aldovia's delighted to have you back.
I understand the situation is critical.
Richard, and all of us, are very anxious to hear what advice you have to give.
Cancelled?
So I'm not only failing the nation, I'm also failing my sister.
No one thinks that. We'll figure it out.
The ministers today were in panic, mostly for their own positions.
I need people around me I can trust.
Like Mother, Lord Leopold, and most of all, you.
King Richard, I was hoping for a moment of your time.
- Moments are in short supply, Simon. - I understand.
I just wanted to thank you again for taking me back into the fold.
That's putting it a bit generously, isn't it?
Perhaps, but I'd like to do something to repay you.
Both.
I may have a solution to Aldovia's financial crisis.
There's this new crypto-currency I've been researching.
By investing just a fraction of what you've sunk...
I should've known this was about getting your hands on the kingdom's money.
Richard, cousin, no.
It's just as I say, I want to help!
- I have a degree in economics from Oxford. - You do?
Which he hardly worked for, which he's squandered ever since.
All I'm asking is that you to hear me out. I have a sound plan.
Give me a chance to redeem myself.
Richard, my boy, three words for you.
Stay the course.
Even in light of everything that's happened?
We put into action what your father dreamed of doing
for the last years of his reign.
May he rest in peace.
But the situation has changed so vastly since then.
Are there really no adjustments you'd consider?
Patience.
This kind of long-term investment in roads, hospitals, schools...
it's good business.
Just as I've been saying.
I beg your pardon. Lord Leopold, may I?
Yes, of course, my dear.
If all the infrastructure projects are happening in Aldovia
through Aldovian companies,
how can the country be losing so much money?
Did you think that perhaps we should consider taking some proactive steps
to find out?
Absolutely we should, and will.
A thorough review begins tomorrow.
To Lord Leopold!
May the holidays shine that much brighter now that he's here.
- Lord Leopold! - To King Richard!
And the beautiful, charming Ms. Amber.
Oh!
You are as blessed as your father, sir, to have such a wise queen at your side.
I had heard so many wonderful things about you,
yet somehow you seem to exceed every expectation.
Does the same thing to me.
And I've known her all her life.
Hey, I like this guy. Has a good sense of humor.
Indeed he does, sir.
I trust your meeting went well?
Not sure this is the time or place, Simon.
I beg your pardon, Your Majesty.
I love our country and was merely curious to know
how Lord Leopold accounts for the inverse returns
on our New Aldovia initiatives.
Ignore my cousin, Lord Leopold.
No, not at all.
- He'll be a good practice for you, sir. - How so?
Well, as King, you'll find everyone has their own agenda.
Keep a watchful eye on those who try to lead you astray.
I take offence to that.
I take offence to you.
Emily.
I think what Lord Leopold has to say is very true.
I have no doubt that Aldovia's future is secure.
Thank you, sir.
I do believe our fortunes are about to change.
Oh.
It's snowing!
Fresh snow at Christmas is an Aldovian sign of good fortune.
A signal from your father, no doubt, that all will be well in the kingdom.
Indeed.
In time to save my Christmas play tomorrow?
I'll do my best.
The strike will end.
And if you don't do your play this year, I'll make sure it happens next year.
- Mr. Zabala? - Yes, Miss?
Would I be able to ask you a favor? It's a pretty big favor.
Of course, Miss.
I would be honored.
It's amazing.
I thought you might prefer this mode of transport.
But sleighs can get chilly.
Thank you.
Now, let's go and find the most perfect Christmas tree
that the palace courtyard has ever seen.
Oh, this is perfect.
- Thank you. - Mm-hmm.
What about this one?
It's a little bare on the side.
This one's nice.
- It's not really a cone, is it? - What?
Well, a Christmas tree should be a cone. That was more of a triangle.
Well, I always thought a cone was a sort of triangle.
Finding the perfect tree is like finding the perfect man.
It takes time.
And first Impressions can be deceiving.
Oh, I see. Just because I stole your taxi a year ago
now means I need to freeze to death while we find a perfect tree?
No geometrical imperfections here.
This one?
Yes.
No.
- Tall, majestic, really the perfect tree. - Totally wrong.
Are you sure this isn't the one?
Come on.
That's... that's a runt.
I mean, it's missing branches. It looks more like a tetrahedron than a cone.
It's unique.
Unique?
It's special.
This is the one.
As you wish.
Wow, that's a very... unique tree.
Exactly. It's perfect, right?
It'll look great once we get the colored lights
and those big, old, inflatable reindeer up there.
When are we decorating?
The staff will attend to that.
And as things have gone back to normal with the crown this year,
we will light the tree Christmas Eve,
after the King's address.
That's okay.
Reindeer don't fly till Christmas Eve anyway.
The decor mandate is white and gold.
No inflatables.
You're about to be Queen. Thought maybe you might have a say.
I'm pretty sure they'd rather treat me as an ornament myself.
Richard, Amber, Emily!
Your Majesty!
- You're late! You're very late. - Late for what, Mother?
An important pact we made a year ago.
Are those toboggans?
- Ready? - That's it, kiddo!
- No! - We're gonna go faster.
Oh, my goodness.
Richard!
Please, Your Majesty. I beg you, slower.
Faster!
You're crazy.
Whoa!
Faster!
- Here we go! - Oh!
I can see your reflection.
You don't care for tobogganing?
Not anymore than I care for you spying on me.
I call it looking after the interests of Aldovia.
Or for one Aldovian.
Named Simon.
Yes, I get it.
It's not that clever.
King Richard may have been taken in by your little act.
I'm not.
Come on, bigger wings, kiddo.
- I'm trying! - Angel's gotta fly!
Hey, you need more snow.
- You messed with the wrong girl! - Don't!
Your father's a miracle worker, cheering her up like that.
Your father is a true menace.
He is brutal with those snowballs.
But I know what he's trying to do. All of you.
Trying to make me forget that I'm meant to be starring in the Christmas play today
- with Tom. - Did it work?
I won't allow it to.
I have every right to feel sorry for myself.
Why is my costume here?
You moved my play to the palace.
How did you do this?
You better know your lines.
- Real nice of you, Peanut. - Aw, thanks, Pop.
Oh.
This is Emily's big moment.
Ready?
I think so.
Bravo!
Listen up!
Best Christmas cookie wins a free meal at Rudy's Diner, New York, New York.
Plane fare not included.
Let me just put some finishing touches on and...
What do we think of that?
Is that a snowman or yeti?
You...
are not a normal chef.
You were really good tonight, Princess Froon.
You're not so bad yourself, Wicked Ogre.
What?
Come back here!
Watch out!
Oh, Chef Ivana!
Chef Ivana!
Hey, do you like tobogganing?
Sure.
Maybe you might go with me sometime?
Come back here!
Loyal readers.
Christmas spirit has overtaken the palace,
and the Aldovian saga of Princess Froon and the Wicked Ogre
melted hearts and sparked a wild frenzy of sweet treats and cocoa in the kitchen.
It was a wonderful day,
a great release from the pressure I feel as my life is about to change forever.
Kingdom of Aldovia, here we come!
We're on our way to the airport!
Try and get some sleep on the plane, okay? So you're not totally jet-lagged.
I'm on vacation. I'll sleep after New Year's.
Your blog is out of control. We're loving it.
But why did you take down all the snow, and play, and food fight pics?
What are you talking about?
Everything you put up is, like, totally gone.
Vanished about an hour ago.
- I didn't take it down. - Someone did.
I bet I know who.
May I suggest a little damage control?
I shall have a word with my friends in the press.
Much appreciated.
Mrs. Averill,
you are aware Sahil requires promptness, hmm?
So perhaps you can tell me where, oh, where can Sahil find the bride-to-be?
She hasn't arrived?
She has not.
Sahil, may I strongly suggest
that you get a better handle on our young queen.
- Better know who's in charge. - I can hear you.
Miss Moore, it is imperative you adhere to the schedule.
Did you censor my blog?
With all due respect,
I thought we had talked about this, and agreed that...
I never agreed to my work being censored.
Do you really think that this
is the sort of image the royal family should portray?
I saw that it's trending... It was trending with tons of positive comments.
It's also a breach of protocol.
I seriously doubt that traditional protocols
were set up for viral social media.
Times change.
Protocol does not.
Well, in this case...
Your image belongs to us now.
It's just the way that it is.
Now,
shall we turn our attention to the royal portrait?
It is to be rendered at 4:30 promptly.
I can tell something's bothering you.
- Can we talk about it? - I don't know, can we?
It seems like we need a royal decree to go to the loo.
Who's ruffled your feathers now?
I had a rather unpleasant conversation with Mrs. Averill today.
I don't appreciate being controlled.
It's a balancing act.
At the end of a day, they work for us. But we need to play by the rules.
She deleted posts from my blog, without informing me.
Ah-ah-ah. Stop your chattering, mmm?
It will disrupt the make-up.
Once we get through the wedding and you're officially Queen,
we'll be at a better place to pick our battles.
"Once we get through it."
Sounds like you're talking about a medical procedure.
Let's just go with the flow. Keep calm and carry on, for now. Okay?
I spent all night cleaning up.
Forgive me.
I do not forgive.
But since you bring flowers, put them in water.
No sense killing flowers.
I got carried away with the holiday spirit.
The kids had so much fun.
Um...
Sorry I made you cry.
When I was a child, life was not easy.
Spending time with my family in the kitchen for Christmas...
are best memories I have.
They were tears of nostalgia, not anger.
I could never be angry for bringing joy to children.
That is so good to hear.
I need small dice these peppers.
And then maybe we can try make the diner food.
Ohh.
Splendid, you look absolutely regal.
Indeed.
Well done. They're in your capable hands.
Chin up, King Richard.
Give me some power, huh.
Some "boom."
More. Boom!
Bigger. Boom!
Boom, huh? Yes, very good. I like it.
Watch the smiling.
I mean, this image, it has to exude solemnity and control.
I would be exuding something else if this dress was any tighter.
- It's just not working. - Mmm.
I think there's something wrong with her face, huh.
Maybe the other side is better.
Ms. Moore, could you turn to the left?
A bit more.
Down.
Right.
No, left.
No, right.
It's not working.
How much longer will this take?
The sooner we get it right, the sooner we can go.
It's the necklace.
Who approved this?
Oh.
I chose it.
Well, it's absolutely wrong! Get her a proper one, now!
- I really want to wear this one. - It's inappropriate.
Quick.
Yes.
Now this, mmm...
This will tie it all together.
- No, I really think... - No. It's not about you.
This is about the official royal portrait.
Richard...
Mrs. Averill, is there really no way...
This necklace is part of the Crown Jewels. I mean...
Do you really want to insult the crown, Miss Moore?
"It makes us proud to have you as our royal family.
May you be blessed with the happiest of Christmases.
Love, the Frosts."
All the cards from well-wishers have to be my favorite part of the season.
Thank you.
Hmm, I'd say the second best. Presents, for me.
I do the same thing.
Oh, hang cards all around my kitchen at the diner.
Nothing could be finer than Christmas in a diner.
Would you like some coffee with that whiskey, Simon?
"Dear Royals,
while I'm sure you're having a dandy Christmas at the palace,
the real working people of Aldovia are suffering..."
This one isn't very festive.
Keep reading, Mother.
"I've lost my job,
as the company I worked for my whole life was put out of business
by your 'New Aldovia' disaster.
Thanks for nothing but a big lump of coal in our stocking this year.
Bah, humbug."
We are doing everything we can,
aren't we?
That man has no idea how hard we're working
for the long-term well-being of the kingdom.
Some people just like to complain.
It's like I always say,
"Can't let the naysayers bring you down."
Right, Peanut?
Pop!
All hail, Princess Peanut!
All hail, the village idiot.
Mister Moore has a valid point.
Mustn't let a malcontent disrupt the season.
Read another one, Mother.
"Dearest royal family,
sending you warmest wishes this holiday...
and hoping for the best.
Merry Christmas."
How do you do that?
It's easy.
You just have to focus on what's important and not let anything else distract you.
You're absolutely right.
Then take a shot.
No, I mean, you're right about...
not getting distracted.
I've sensed there's more to these New Aldovia problems,
but I've been too caught up thinking about the wedding protocols.
What do you mean "more"?
Call it journalistic instinct.
I just have to focus on the target.
- Clear your mind and aim. - Amber!
Amber, hey! We're here!
I-I'm so sorry.
Well, that was a real royal welcome.
Hey!
- Hey! - Hey!
You must be Princess Emily.
It's an honor to be a guest of the realm.
Uh, excuse Andy, this is his first royal wedding.
I'm Melissa.
The realm welcomes you both.
Abide, and you will avoid the dungeon.
Guys, there's no dungeon.
Oh, my gosh, can you believe this place? It's amazing.
You think if we just moved in, they'd even notice?
Let's give it a try.
- Where are the knights in shining armor? - When's jousting? I want to joust.
- I want wenches serving mead. - There are no wenches in my kingdom.
Richard!
- My King! - Hello!
- Good to see you again. - Good to see you, too. Hello.
- Hello. - Hello.
Oh, um, let me introduce you to the Prime Minister.
Uh, Andy, Melissa, this is Prime Minister Denzill.
Welcome. It is wonderful to have you in our country.
You have a beautiful country, sir.
Sir, it's an honor. I never get to meet dignitaries at the Noodle Chalet.
I wish I could come have some fun with you three today,
but sadly, my day is far from over.
Lord Leopold has the new accounts for us.
- I wish I could come with. I miss you. - I miss you too.
Unfortunately, the Prime Minister and I have meetings to attend.
But think of me when you're having fun.
We shall celebrate in your honor, King Richard.
You heard the King, it's party time.
It's your bachelorette night! We're gonna get it going!
Actually, there's something I was hoping you could help me with.
What kind of something?
- A lead I wanna follow up on. - A lead?
More of a hunch. Potentially a source.
Wait, for what?
Discrepancies in the kingdom's finances.
That sounds way more fun than a bachelorette party.
Should've seen this coming.
It's two days before your wedding,
your best friends just flew halfway around the world to celebrate,
and you want to work?
Yes. There's something going on in Aldovia that doesn't make sense.
What does Richard say?
He's too busy going with the flow.
Please, I need your help.
There's someone we need to find tonight.
It's gonna be a bit of a mission.
Be quite. We don't want them to see us.
- The guest list, per your request. - Thank you, Mr. Little.
Oh.
No.
No, cross her off.
Oh, I don't think...
Come on.
This one.
Does it say who said it?
Mr. Ernest Mason.
Let us search the realm for one Earnest Mason.
Your outfit's very incognito.
Having the Queen-to-be spotted in a place like this
would not be in keepimg with royal protocol.
If this Ernest guy isn't here, can we please do something fun?
Yes, something that resembles a bachelorette party.
I spoke to his wife on the phone,
she said that he's been here almost every day since he lost his job.
Notice how she didn't answer my question.
Well, at least it's a bar.
Go ask the bartender.
Oh, honey. Honey, please...
Merry Christmas, lass.
It's darker than a dungeon in here.
Why prevent us from the light of your pretty, pretty eyes?
I have a light sensitivity disorder.
Do I know your voice from somewhere?
I gotta go, sorry.
Merry Christmas.
Walter!
Ernest Mason?
Who wants to know?
We have a friend here who'd love to ask you some questions.
- What kind of questions? - About your work situation.
You some kind of reporter?
No, but she is.
First off, you're wrong about the royals. They do care.
King Richard has barely slept since I got here.
And I'm supposed to feel sorry for him?
How much sleep you think I've been getting?
I'm sorry, Mr. Mason, that's not what I meant.
It's just that they... that we are all trying to find the best solution.
But you're one of them. Why should I trust you?
Why else would I be here? I want to understand what's going on, too.
This whole "New Aldovia" initiative,
- it's a fraud. - It was supposed to be a way
to get the country to invest more money back into itself.
That be the case, the money should actually stay in Aldovia.
I was a foreman for Derryville Concrete for 25 years before we were shut down.
If companies like yours aren't getting a piece of the pie, then who is?
Well, a new company, Meadowlark.
They absorbed all the contracts in our zone.
I even heard their bids were higher than ours.
An Aldovian company?
Well, on paper, maybe.
But my boss said that them and another couple of companies
formed at the start of the initiative.
All a bit fishy, if you ask me.
- What are you planning on doing anyway? - Getting to the bottom of this.
Thank you for your help, Mr. Mason. It's a good start.
Call me Ernie, Your Highness.
- There she is! With the hat! - Amb? I think we got trouble.
- Amber, Amber! - Oh, no.
- What do we do now? - We're trapped.
Follow me. I know a way out.
Or, you can stay here and be picked clean by the vultures.
What... You tipped these people off, didn't you?
If I tipped them off, why would I be trying to help you escape? Let's go.
- You with us? - Yeah.
- Come on. - Thank you.
Long live the Queen!
- Did you follow us here? - We're fighting on the same side here.
I don't know what angle you're playing, but I know you're playing one.
This is my car, come on.
- Get in! - What happened to the Lamborghini?
Ferrari. Don't ask.
All right, let's go.
Not much on Meadowlark Enterprises.
Just a public web site with no physical address.
It's like someone's scrubbed the records. There's no footprint.
Is that the best you can do?
Remind me again why you're here?
Hello? He saved your ass from the paparazzi?
You really have a way with words.
Well, I am a writer.
Hey, check that out.
Looks like Meadowlark is getting the lion's shareof the contracts
with these two other firms:
Geller Inc., and Houghton Alexis.
Those must be the others that Ernie was talking about.
Do you know anything about those companies?
No, but I do know that any company involved in public works projects
has to register their financial information
with the Hall of Records database.
How do we get in there?
You're the one with the King for a fiance.
I don't want to ask Richard about this. Not unless I really have to.
Why not?
Do I detect trouble in paradise?
Wipe that stupid look off your face.
Um...
We could break into the Hall of Records.
Or kidnap the records keeper,
toss him in a dungeon, and hope he gives up the passcode.
Or you could leave it to me.
How long have you been out there?
Long enough to get the gist.
Chances are Aldovia's public firewalls aren't exactly state of the art.
- And I know a thing or two about hacking. - Are you saying you could get us in?
Mm-hmm.
Well, let Princess Emily get to work.
If I can create a network interface
that catches the traffic to the legitimate server,
I can backdoor the access.
An interfacing server-traffic-catcher, of course.
So obvious.
You think you can crack this?
Yes, it's gonna take some time.
Perhaps all night.
No problem.
- Are you thinking what I'm thinking? - Bachelorette party?
To the bride!
And may we all find our own happily ever after.
Miss Moore. Miss Moore!
Sahil, go away.
I am not Sahil.
Now, get up, get dressed,
and follow me to my office.
- Richard? - Amber, what are you doing here?
- I have no idea. You don't know? - Not a clue. Mrs. Averill asked me here.
Your Highness, thank you for coming.
- What can we do for you? - I hate to be the bearer of bad news,
but we have been hit by a rather severe public relations snafu.
This is exactly what we don't want.
That's absurd. That's Amber's bachelorette party.
Is that Simon?
It wasn't a party.
We were investigating.
Investigating?
Investigating what?
The discrepancies in the royal finances.
- Excuse me? - What?
I'm afraid that Ms. Moore
does not understand her role within the royal family.
Oh, no, I get it.
I'm supposed to smile, and nod, and do as I'm told.
I understand, I just...
I don't agree.
Well, I suggest that you cease from any further investigation
and any activity pertaining to your blog immediately.
No way.
Your Majesty?
Sir?
I...
Really, Richard?
- Amber! Amber! - Sir! Sir!
Give her some space. Let her calm down.
And meanwhile, Lord Leopold has sent some notes for tonight's speech.
Still at it?
Not exactly Mr. Robot, are you? More like Mr. Slowbot.
Silence, Simon. I'm getting there.
It takes a lot of work. A concept quite foreign to you, I know.
Anything we can do?
Develop malware for me to drop into their RDP.
Is Ms. Moore not here?
I thought she would be.
Well, if she's not here, where is she?
She must be located!
Sahil will find her.
What are you doing there, Princess Emily?
Showing Amber's friends my new game.
Hmm.
And you, Count Simon?
Uh, I was just, um...
He's bothering us.
We'd all feel much better if you could stay longer.
I'd love to, but I'm afraid I'm compelled to depart
immediately following the wedding.
I assure you, things will stabilize.
Your Majesty, excuse me!
Have you seen the Queen-to-be?
She's missing.
Your Majesty. How may I assist you?
Amber is missing.
Mrs. Averill indicated that she would be in conference
with Miss Moore this morning.
And it was requested that I not attend.
In conference, Mrs. Averill?
Oh, it was a press and protocol issue.
It was discussed and resolved.
Well, subsequently, Miss Moore did not show up for her fitting.
Now, Sahil cannot create magic with a run-away bride.
Well, I sincerely hope we won't have to cancel the wedding.
Cancel the wedding?
Who will wear the gown?
Put an alert out!
Ms. Moore is missing!
Amber!
Miss Moore!
She has vanished!
Amber!
Richard.
There's a situation.
A calamity.
I could always sniff out the name of the record keeper's favorite pet.
- Maybe that's the passcode. - Gross oversimplification.
- Did you try one, two, three, four, five? - Zip it, Simple Simon!
Look, I don't mean to beat a dead horse,
- but the dungeon option... - Shut up!
What happened?
We're in.
We did it.
What's it say about those three companies?
Each are listed as a division of this... Glockenspiel Consortium.
Glockenspiel?
What's that?
It could be a parent company, or a shell,
used to funnel the money to a foreign entity.
You have a disturbing knowledge of underhanded activities.
That would explain why so little of the money's staying in Aldovia.
Perhaps if we dig a little bit deeper into Glockenspiel...
Oh, my.
I can't believe it.
Would you look at that?
Now is hardly the time to be smug.
Amber?
Amber!
Amber, are you here?
Amber!
Amber.
Amber, I'm so sorry, I've been such a fool.
You have no idea.
Emily?
- No idea about what? - How much of a fool you really have been.
If you're talking about how I've fallen out with Amber, I have a pretty good idea.
You've fallen out with Amber?
Is that why she's missing?
I'm afraid so.
Just when she needed me most, I caved in to the crown.
After Father died...
and you left us to go soul-searching,
I was so angry with you...
- Oh, Emily. - ...at first.
But then I realized this life we find ourselves in,
the titles and responsibilities we bear,
can overwhelm any person,
especially a good-hearted one.
And I've allowed it to happen.
You accepted your title with eyes wide open. With the best intent.
- And that's the brother I love. - I've made such a mess of everything.
You're only guilty of being manipulated. Horribly.
I suspect you're too good to even see it.
Are you telling me you suspect Mrs. Averill
of intentionally driving a wedge between Amber and me?
Her loyalty to protocol and history may have unduly influenced her.
But there are others in the palace with even worse intentions.
What are you talking about?
Thanks to Amber, we know where the money's going.
Don't do a thing until I find Amber.
There's only one place she can be.
Amber.
I'm so sorry.
Talk to me.
Now you want to talk?
You had nothing to say when I needed you in Mrs. Averill's office.
I know.
They want me to give up everything, Richard.
My voice, my career.
Forget about everyone else. This should be about you and me.
I always thought that you would support me,
and this week has just been so tough.
- Amber, please... - Just let me finish, okay?
Everything is changing.
I feel like I'm losing control and...
I'm not used to living like this. This fishbowl, this distance between us.
I know it's hard, Amber.
Trust me, I know.
And everything is changing.
For both of us.
But there is one thing that will never change...
My love for you.
I'll put you before the crown, I'll put you before everything,
but if you have to sacrifice a single thing to be with me...
your talent, your creativity...
your determination...
I don't think I could live with myself.
I need you, Amber.
And Aldovia needs you, too.
We need to get back to the palace, now.
Oh, Amber!
Thank goodness.
- Is everything all right? - No, not at all.
What's happened?
Let's start with the wedding. There are gonna be some changes.
Changes?
Yes, to protocol. Everything, right down to the gown.
It's gonna be our wedding, so Richard and I are taking it back.
I don't think you understand.
Go on.
I know that it has to be grand,
and royal, and magnificent,
but it also has to be about us.
And I'm half of us.
So my gown,
my shoes, my jewelry, and...
my menu...
prepared by my dad.
With all due respect...
this outburst here, now,
on the eve before your wedding, it's...
Long overdue.
Amber is right.
And I'm the worst offender.
I got so caught up in the protocol, the pomp, the ceremony,
that I've lost sight of what the wedding's really about.
Christmas is about family.
And your wedding...
is about the love between you...
and Richard.
Everything else is secondary.
Which means, Mrs. Averill,
you will stop trying to disrupt the Queen-to-be and her work.
Protocol be damned.
Here, here.
And as long as the memory of your dear father is respected,
a little modernization should be no threat to the monarchy.
- To kings and queens... - That's enough out of you.
Richard?
I'm sorry, Mother,
but there is a threat to the monarchy.
Lord Leopold.
I'm sorry? What on earth do you mean?
The New Aldovia initiative has been failing
because you've been siphoning off the money.
- That's absurd. - People lost their jobs because of you.
And you lied to our faces.
You should be ashamed.
I have an army of lawyers
that shall right that slander.
You're not going anywhere.
You wouldn't dare.
She's deadly with that thing.
You'll never prove anything!
Then why do I hear the dulcet tones of a glockenspiel?
As in Glockenspiel Consortium.
Yes, yes, I get it. It's not that clever.
Mr. Little.
Mr. Zabala.
Take Lord Leopold to the dungeon.
There's actually a dungeon?
Oh, yes, there's a dungeon.
In the deepest, darkest depths of the castle.
Cool!
Loyal Aldovians,
I'm happy to announce that I am able to tear up the script
that I was given for tonight's speech,
one which glossed over the hardships that I know a lot of you have been facing.
I can instead announce, thanks to the Queen-in-waiting,
that severe corruption is responsible
for our recent hardships.
It has been discovered and eliminated.
The funds have been recovered, and every one of you will be paid...
She did it! She did it!
- Merry Christmas, darling! - ...along with a Christmas bonus
for every hard-working man and woman in Aldovia.
On behalf of the entire royal family...
Queen Helena,
Princess Emily,
Count Simon,
Queen-to-be Amber,
and the new Earl of Aldovia,
Rudy Moore...
I wish you all a very Merry Christmas.
Let's celebrate with the lighting of the royal Christmas tree.
Three, two, one.
Now that's more like it.
- I believe I owe you a debt of gratitude. - No, not at all.
But, now that I've proven my mettle,
and there being an open seat on your Advisory Council...
- Don't push your luck. - Fair enough.
My goodness.
Mom's right here with us, Peanut.
I know, Pop.
Do you, King Richard,
take the beautiful Amber Eve Moore to be your bride?
I do.
Do you, Amber, take Richard Bevan Charlton to be your husband?
I do.
King Richard, you may kiss your bride,
Queen Amber of Aldovia.
Ladies and gentlemen, our newlywed couple,
King Richard and Queen Amber.
Bravo!
How did you even manage to do that?
I don't know. I don't know.
Queen Helena,
hockey puck sliders painted red.
Your Majesty, they are delicious.
Mmm! Mmm. Mmm.
So you're from New-York?
- Queens. - Nice.
Oh!
Ah! Congratulations!
I'm happy, too.
Excellent catch, Your Majesty.
The only one wearing Sahil...
is the cake topper.
Between me and you,
your version would have been way better.
Let's dance.
Conga!
Hey!
- Come on, let's do this. - Ho!
Come on, Mrs. Averill.
All right.
Come on!
Wait, wait, wait.
Thank you for making this the best Christmas ever.
I don't think we'll ever be able to top this one.
Well, you never know.
There's always next year.
I'm willing to try if you are.
To Christmas.
And to you.
Alone at last.
Until the wedding, you're going to have your own...
Gesundheit.
Bless you!
She's alergic to flowers.
Is Ms. Moore not here?
I thought she would be.
Well, if she's not here, where is she?
Sh...
She must be located. Sorry.
I should've known this is about you getting your hands on... money.
Oh.
I...
I don't know what to say to that.
Not to mention the amount of work that went into...
Aldovia's future...
Oh.
There's no need to point to him, sorry.
Bachelorette party?
Are you okay?
No one gets in the front with you?